Telling falsehoods -Lying

 Telling falsehoods or lying is also a normal part of growing up. It is not a moral issue and if not handled delicately and with patience it could become a habit.Children are smart and can understand so it is important to help them appreciate and understand the value of truth. Stories always help – Here’s one we have all enjoyed listening to when we were kids -we also learnt about not telling lies :-

Ofcourse like I have mentioned there is no magic method that can help you bringing up your kids without facing difficult situations -“falsehoods” being one .Love and patience is your best tool.

A little note on why children lie and some dos and don’ts:-

Young children are often confused about facts.They are full of curiosity and like to listen to adult talk. Sometimes they like to participate in adult conversations ( if encouraged by them.) making themselves there in situations being talked about.- making up large tales.

Children when very young don’t know the difference between the real and unreal.

.  They like to rehearse or retell a story they have heard….”I have a red noddy car…..

.  To avoid punishment they smartly make up tales.

.  If parents are too strict children learn to be untrue   because they are scared of the outcome or they may make up and say things which they think would please their parents.-Untrue stories-

.  Too many don’ts and restrictions may make the child do wrong things and then make up tales to get away.

.  Sometimes they just like to repeat adult conversations they have heard making  themselves in that situation -” Oh today I handled a huge elephant.”

.  To get attention of their teacher they may tell untrue things -” I Have a horse at home.” It could become a habit -so just avoid with a smile.

.  Many a times they like to do exactly like their friends -” I too am going to America.”

.  Untrue statements sometimes makes kids feel they may be looked up to.

Telling falsehoods are childish misdeeds.Children are innocent and if one questions them gently they will be honest. We should never ridicule them in front of other kids.Always correct them and explain why it is not nice to tell untrue tales.

We as adults/parents should handle such situations with maturity and patience.Be strict yet gentle.

  Speak to the child when he/ she is alone telling him /her you won’t punish if tells the truth.Try to find out why he/she was not honest ,that will help you to understand  the situation  and so handle it the correct way.

  You can make the situation a little fun and pass your message of being truthful.

 ” Who stole the cookie?” Explain to the child that if he/she asks for something is always nicer than taking something quietly and then when questioned to lie .

Words may lie but actions will always tell the truth. So handle gently.Wrong procedures may make the telling of untruths a habit.

Pearl of Wisdom :-

Truth always prevails.

Don’t be scared – Stand up for the truth.

Thumb Sucking

Thumb sucking is a very normal reaction which starts from infancy.It is the most natural reaction of infants.

There are many reasons why a child sucks his/her thumb.

.  Thumb sucking is the most natural and involuntary reaction of infancy.Babies put everything they hold into their mouth.

.  Children suck their thumbs as it comforts and calms them.

.Sometimes they suck their thumbs because they are tired and bored.

.  Another reason for thumb sucking could be when the child is sick or has been weaned too early.

.  Any challenging situation-  first day at school , new people anything that makes children insecure may be reason for thumb sucking.

When the child is unhappy, thoughtful (while watching TV or listening to a story.) or hungry he /she may thumb suck.

.  Often to sleep they suck their thumbs as they feel secure.

.  Many a time it just becomes a habit.

Remember thumb sucking is a natural habit which usually disappears before or during the nursery years.So mums don’t manic its a part of growing up.

Breaking the thumb sucking habit:-

The first thing I would like to say is don’t worry too much. Be there and care

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you:-

.   Punishing and nagging may not be a good idea as the child may not even realise he/she is doing it. Also if you pressure too much it may intensify the desire to thumb suck.

.   Thumb suckers should be kept busy with their hands.One should see the situation ,and work. Is he/she  scared – then comfort him. Nearing feed time he may suck his thumb so feed him , don’t delay.

.   Try and divert their attention with a new toy or story or change in activity.If you are busy get him/her to help you.

.    Notice when the child is most likely to suck  the thumb and then find a way to make him/her divert their attention. Make them feel secure and comfortable.Try to avoid those situations.

.   Do not tie their hands or thumb. There is no need to analyse every movement of your child . Sometimes just avoiding helps.

.   Very often it just becomes a habit so try to break it- be as creative as you can.

If however the child continues to suck the thumb in school, then consult your doctor.But – Never rush to the doctor.You are the parent you would now best. It would also be a good idea to share your experiences with your friends.- this helps you to realise thumb sucking is common and part of growing up.

I would like to share my experience-

My son used to suck his thumb and naturally I was concerned. One day  at a toy shop I found a cuddly bear  whose thumb we could put in the mouth. I bought it and every  time my son sucked his thumb I would make the bear do the same. This would make him laugh and he would pull out the bears thumb. Before I realised it had become a game . And yes off went the thumb sucking habit.

Its not easy I know -but as parents we just have to find a way to break the habit. Work patiently.

There is no magic formula for bringing up children the right way.We as parents have to guide them to become good human beings.

PEARLS OF WISDOM:-

Try, try, you will succeed.

Share, care and love.

Be patient.

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