Impressionable Minds – a blog for children & parents

                                            MEEKNESS AND SHYNESS

 

A Meek or Shy person is someone who is hesitant to actively participate or engage with people around him/her. They prefer to be observers and stand a little aloof when in a gathering.

A shy child is of a gentle and delicate nature and is comfortable with solitary  activities or is happy to be with familiar individuals .They sometimes don’t mind being in a group but are silent observers and take their time to warm up and feel a free to interact with their peers.

             

It is important to recognize and respect shy children in a preschool as it is the first time they are away from home. Shy kids have strong observation skills and take in their environment deeply as they quietly watch what is around them.

Parents ,teachers and others need to handle them gently with a loving secure and understanding environment .This will help them to express themselves at their own pace and develop socially.

Here are some simple points to handle Shy kids.

Every child is different and needs to handled as special with full respect.

It is important to remember that each child is a unique individual and what works for one may not work for another. So we need to adapt the strategies we use basing them on the individual needs and comfort level of the child being handled.

1.  Be patient and avoid pressuring the child to be more out going .Understand that shyness is a natural trait and takes time for the child to over come it.

2. Respect the need of the child’s personal space. Avoid pushing him/her into social situations they are not ready for but keep a watchful eye and see what are their likes and dislikes..

what makes them feel comfortable.

3. Create opportunities for the child to interact with his/her peers beginning with faces they are familiar with. Never push them to socialise be patient.

4. Always praise and acknowledge the child’s effort however small it may be ..Let the others around know of the  achievements , this will boost self worth  and slowly build confidence.

5. Create a supportive group who work at the same wave length….helpers, parents ,teachers.

6. Greet the child and slowly encourage them to greet never forcing them . Ask simple questions like “How are you?” or praise them “You are wearing a lovely dress today. ” This will slowly encourage self expression .

7. Observe and keep in mind what the child shows interest in and try to provide activities in those areas eg art , storytelling or music this will slowly build up the child’s confidence.

It is important to remember that not every child is a leader . Some will be full of confidence while others will be inhibited to do things.

Each child is different and each one is good at something .Remember a quiet child need not be a shy child .It could just be a trait he/she has. They are good listeners and participate in group activities.

So dear parents handle with care .Your support and guidance will help them to become good human beings as they grow up.

Love your child unconditionally and be proud of them as they are .Bringing up a child is not an easy job and there is no magic wand to help.

Behavioural issues are all part of a child’s growing up and can normally be taken care of with the right guidance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotions are symptoms every child has in the process of growing up. Emotions could be sad or happy , but whatever the feeling we should never ever try to suppress them but help to direct and channel them into constructive use.

As we grow up we learn how to manage our emotions either by sharing them or just by ourselves.

Kids in kindergarten are just coming out into the world. In their first five years they learn many things….. sharing , socializing , building up their self esteem and standing out as individuals. They go through various situations at home and outside and slowly learn to face them with our guidance.

They will have many emotional out bursts ..fighting , fears , crying and temper tantrums ..but we  should not allow these emotions to influence our response towards them.

Emotions are an important part of growing up and we should allow the children to express  their emotions .. rather than suppressing them..unless of course , they are in anyway physically hurting someone else or themselves.

 

CRYING

Why do children cry?

Crying is an emotion every one experiences .We cry for happiness or when we are sad or are hurt.

Crying is one of the first emotions a child expresses—–

Children cry when they may be hungry or thirsty and can’t express themselves.

..Children cry because they may be scared.

..They may cry because they are hurt.

..They may cry when they are scolded or not given what they want.

..They may cry to get attention or just because they are bored.

What do we do when a child cries?

We normally tend to tell the child not to cry ,or just say stop that crying . Sometimes we may express our displeasure for their crying  ,walk away or tell them we won’t talk to them if they cry.

Here are some tips to help you….remember a child like us has the right to express their emotions . So if say a child does cry let them do so for a while , take them aside and hug them if they allow.

After a while when they stop here are a few words one can try.

..Wipe your face , I am here with you , would you like to tell me what happened.

..You can say –

–I am listening to you.

–I understand you and this is hard on you.

–I am there for you and will help you .

–It’s ok to be sad and cry.. don’t feel ashamed about it.

–Try and comfort the child and slowly distract them . A little hug or smile helps.

Many a time the child will stop crying when they feel relaxed.

We can sometimes just avoid the crying ,  smile and carry on.

A little praise or some responsibility helps to forget the crying.

Like I always say ..

Parenting has no magic wand. Each one has to find a way to handle emotional outbursts..

A bit of love , a smile , a hug and distraction ,along with disciplining ( which children like )  will help you.

But don’t suppress emotions ..they are a part of growing up.

listen

Talk gently and be patient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Distract if crying is just for attention seeking.

 

Let children express emotions for a while , take them to a side and talk softly to comfort them.

Emotional outbursts are only the outward expression of inner feelings.

Handle them with patience , love and gentleness.

Remember don’t over indulge into or analyze every emotion.

Emotions are a healthy part of growing up.

 

                                         FIGHTING  or QUARRELING

Fighting is a conflict between people which can become physical and bitter .On the other hand , Quarreling is a disagreement in an opinion.

Children in  kindergarten are self-centered and normally like to take what they want and often get into a “fight’ for that .Learning to share and to get things in a polite manner comes in as they mature.

These “fights” last for a small duration and are forgotten once their minds are diverted . In a kindergarten there are many such learning experiences for a child .Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up ,it’s only when a fight gets violent or disruptive an adult interference is needed.

 

When do children fight….

…..A child is special at home and with their family and almost always gets what they want. They are not used to someone taking or asking for what they have. They don’t know how to share and wait for their turn. So if another child wants what they have  – a struggle or fight begins.

…..Sometimes children feel a little jealous if another child is praised or wins and they may react by pushing or making fun and so trigger a fight.

…..Some children just like to antagonize others all the time (this may be because they are too spoilt ,not disciplined or they have not been told its not a nice thing to do) this too could end up in a fight.

…..If children are not kept busy a fight can start.. as the saying goes….Empty vessels make the most noise….

These could be some situations when kids fight.

Fighting is part of growing up .Children learn how to look after themselves and also respect others .It’s only when a fight becomes very aggressive or when a child fights all the time  – then there  is a need for interference and concern.

 

 

 

 

What can adults do when two kids are fighting…..

 

Fighting is human behavior .Young kids are self centered and think only about themselves  often leading into fights.

If a fight triggers…

…Wait for a while be calm and patient then try to divert attention to another topic .

…When kids fight do not react immediately by trying to stop a fight , but watch and try to understand what triggered the fight.

…Do not take sides . Take the two kids gently to a side and let each one narrate why they are fighting , but don’t judge. Make sure each one has a fair chance to explain.

…Tell  them that you understand what has happened and ask them to help you solve the problem giving solutions…one example would be to share or take turns.

…Once they settle down praise them and maybe have a little talk about respect and empathy telling them it is natural to feel upset sometimes .

…Sometimes two kids just can’t get along so activities can be given to keep them apart yet together -giving them chances to respect and interact with each other.

… Tell them Fighting is not bad behavior and everyone fights sometime .What is important is to care and not hurt anyone. Try to respect others’ feelings and use the magic word …. SORRY….

 

Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up.

It needs special attention only if it becomes aggressive and hurts someone.

There is no magic wand or method to stop children fighting. Sometimes just a loud YELL may work.

The trick is to be patient ,calm , attentive , impartial and understanding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHYNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting is raising a child with love and care at every stage. Parenting ensures a child’s health and safety … and guides a child to become a good human.

It’s not an easy task as each child is different and grows up in a different environment .Each stage in life has different challenges and the child has to be handled with care. There is no magic wand for parenting.

The parent should guide and discipline their children – yet treat and respect them as individuals .

SHYNESS

Shyness is an emotion of feeling uncomfortable , self conscious , timid or maybe insecure.  A shy person sometimes feels  shaky and breathless in an unknown gathering or any situation .They feel conscious to speak up or take part in a discussion – this does not mean they are introverts .

Why are some children shy and others not?

Children sometimes become shy as parents are over protective and do not allow the child to experience things for themselves .They become too dependent and start feeling insecure if left alone in any environment .

If parents are too dominating and give their child no scope to think for themselves , then too some kids can tend to become shy.

Sometimes it’s the child is just self conscious and a little inhibited to do things. But a Shy Child is a Normal Child there is nothing wrong with them .

Shy kids need a little extra care and acceptance so that they do not feel low and are able to manage on their own – slowly and steadily . They may not become leaders but will always be accepted in a group and will have friends. They will not grow up as loners.

 

 

 

How one can handle shyness…..

 

1.  Never label your child as being shy…this could make the child feel something is wrong with them.

 

 

 

2.Accept your child .Never make fun of him/her in front of others saying oh he/she is shy and won’t talk.

3. Try to understand . Be there with your child and make them feel secure and loved .Try to talk to them telling them its ok if they can’t mix easily or talk to others easily but also tell them if they don’t try how will they know whether they can do a task or not.

4. Remember never ever force your child to talk or recite a poem or sing in front of anyone if he/she is not ready .This would make the child anxious and add to his/her fear of a similar situation.

5. Give your child opportunities to talk , do things by him or herself .. try not to leave them alone , gently pushing them to do things by themselves and accepting them if they can’t .Never make a child feel they have disappointed you.

Shyness is not an illness. Remember everyone is different but everyone is good at something and that could be listening also. So be a proud parent if your child is quiet and is a listener.

So dear parents don’t get upset if your child cannot be a leader or take part in discussions. As parents we have to accept our kids as they are and help and guide them at all stages of their lives – to put in their very best.

Learn to be proud and happy with what your kids do.

Shy Kids are normal kids accept them as they are but guide and help them to get our shyness slowly and become independent individuals.