Archive for Message to parents

Behavioural Patterns—6 Fighting

                                         FIGHTING  or QUARRELING

Fighting is a conflict between people which can become physical and bitter .On the other hand , Quarreling is a disagreement in an opinion.

Children in  kindergarten are self-centered and normally like to take what they want and often get into a “fight’ for that .Learning to share and to get things in a polite manner comes in as they mature.

These “fights” last for a small duration and are forgotten once their minds are diverted . In a kindergarten there are many such learning experiences for a child .Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up ,it’s only when a fight gets violent or disruptive an adult interference is needed.

 

When do children fight….

…..A child is special at home and with their family and almost always gets what they want. They are not used to someone taking or asking for what they have. They don’t know how to share and wait for their turn. So if another child wants what they have  – a struggle or fight begins.

…..Sometimes children feel a little jealous if another child is praised or wins and they may react by pushing or making fun and so trigger a fight.

…..Some children just like to antagonize others all the time (this may be because they are too spoilt ,not disciplined or they have not been told its not a nice thing to do) this too could end up in a fight.

…..If children are not kept busy a fight can start.. as the saying goes….Empty vessels make the most noise….

These could be some situations when kids fight.

Fighting is part of growing up .Children learn how to look after themselves and also respect others .It’s only when a fight becomes very aggressive or when a child fights all the time  – then there  is a need for interference and concern.

 

 

 

 

What can adults do when two kids are fighting…..

 

Fighting is human behavior .Young kids are self centered and think only about themselves  often leading into fights.

If a fight triggers…

…Wait for a while be calm and patient then try to divert attention to another topic .

…When kids fight do not react immediately by trying to stop a fight , but watch and try to understand what triggered the fight.

…Do not take sides . Take the two kids gently to a side and let each one narrate why they are fighting , but don’t judge. Make sure each one has a fair chance to explain.

…Tell  them that you understand what has happened and ask them to help you solve the problem giving solutions…one example would be to share or take turns.

…Once they settle down praise them and maybe have a little talk about respect and empathy telling them it is natural to feel upset sometimes .

…Sometimes two kids just can’t get along so activities can be given to keep them apart yet together -giving them chances to respect and interact with each other.

… Tell them Fighting is not bad behavior and everyone fights sometime .What is important is to care and not hurt anyone. Try to respect others’ feelings and use the magic word …. SORRY….

 

Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up.

It needs special attention only if it becomes aggressive and hurts someone.

There is no magic wand or method to stop children fighting. Sometimes just a loud YELL may work.

The trick is to be patient ,calm , attentive , impartial and understanding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behavioural patterns-5 Shyness

SHYNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting is raising a child with love and care at every stage. Parenting ensures a child’s health and safety … and guides a child to become a good human.

It’s not an easy task as each child is different and grows up in a different environment .Each stage in life has different challenges and the child has to be handled with care. There is no magic wand for parenting.

The parent should guide and discipline their children – yet treat and respect them as individuals .

SHYNESS

Shyness is an emotion of feeling uncomfortable , self conscious , timid or maybe insecure.  A shy person sometimes feels  shaky and breathless in an unknown gathering or any situation .They feel conscious to speak up or take part in a discussion – this does not mean they are introverts .

Why are some children shy and others not?

Children sometimes become shy as parents are over protective and do not allow the child to experience things for themselves .They become too dependent and start feeling insecure if left alone in any environment .

If parents are too dominating and give their child no scope to think for themselves , then too some kids can tend to become shy.

Sometimes it’s the child is just self conscious and a little inhibited to do things. But a Shy Child is a Normal Child there is nothing wrong with them .

Shy kids need a little extra care and acceptance so that they do not feel low and are able to manage on their own – slowly and steadily . They may not become leaders but will always be accepted in a group and will have friends. They will not grow up as loners.

 

 

 

How one can handle shyness…..

 

1.  Never label your child as being shy…this could make the child feel something is wrong with them.

 

 

 

2.Accept your child .Never make fun of him/her in front of others saying oh he/she is shy and won’t talk.

3. Try to understand . Be there with your child and make them feel secure and loved .Try to talk to them telling them its ok if they can’t mix easily or talk to others easily but also tell them if they don’t try how will they know whether they can do a task or not.

4. Remember never ever force your child to talk or recite a poem or sing in front of anyone if he/she is not ready .This would make the child anxious and add to his/her fear of a similar situation.

5. Give your child opportunities to talk , do things by him or herself .. try not to leave them alone , gently pushing them to do things by themselves and accepting them if they can’t .Never make a child feel they have disappointed you.

Shyness is not an illness. Remember everyone is different but everyone is good at something and that could be listening also. So be a proud parent if your child is quiet and is a listener.

So dear parents don’t get upset if your child cannot be a leader or take part in discussions. As parents we have to accept our kids as they are and help and guide them at all stages of their lives – to put in their very best.

Learn to be proud and happy with what your kids do.

Shy Kids are normal kids accept them as they are but guide and help them to get our shyness slowly and become independent individuals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Importance of Self Esteem-2

                                   High and Low Self Esteem

To be Happy and Successful in Life, it is very important for everyone to think and feel good about one-self.One should have the confidence that they are capable of doing things to the best of their ability.This means every one should have Self Esteem.

A Child with High Self Esteem feels :-

…Loved

…Capable

…Secure

…Happy

…Confident and willing to try new things.

 

A Child with Low Self Esteem feels :-

…Unloved

…Afraid to try new things

…Helpless to do a task alone

…Fearful of situations

…Sad and dejected

 

 

Some of the things we can do to help build Self Esteem in our children.

LOVE :- Show love unconditionally to your child.We don’t have to say I love you, only when he/she does well.Say it anytime to make them feel secure.

STRESS:- Encourage your child to take up new challenges.Make him/her feel comfortable and let them know that you are there to guide them , if they get stuck.

If there are tough decisions to be made ,sit and talk with your child about various options,and,you can decide what to do, together.

Do not expect perfection.Praise them,compliment them- even if you feel that the task which they have accomplished is not good enough.This will encourage the child,and never make him/her feel that they have  disappointed you.

All critical comments should be constructive.Every child is good at something ,make sure to comment on this unique talent.It could be even just -listening.

RESPONSIBILITY:- Give your child every chance where he/she can learn to be responsible.  Praise what he/she does,make him/her feel capable and boost his/her Self Esteem.You can,however, suggest to him/her ways for further improvement.

COMMUNICATION:- Self Esteem can be built by having good relationships with family and friends and keeping a regular dialogue , tell them so,and later when you are free -remember to ask what they wanted to show you.

Learn to listen to your child.This makes him/her feel important.Show him/her  that you are interested in all he does by asking simple questions like…”how was your day at home or in school..What they ate or whether they went outside to play.”

RESPECT:- Self Esteem can be built by respecting your child’s….Choices,Opinions and the things he has ,it could be a stone or leaf he picks up.Remember-just like you feel your things are important ,so are the things they have.

GOALS:-You can help your child to make up his/her mind about their goals-daily,weekly or monthly.You can help them to achieve their goals by following up  on a regular basis.This would be a good Self Esteem booster.

Where as,it is  important to boost your child’s Self Esteem ,it is also equally important to guide and correct him/her- at the right time .It is also necessary to discipline him/her gently- yet firmly.Never ever do this in front of others-this would embarrass your child.

PEARL OF WISDOM:

 

Self Esteem Shapes Life !!!

 

 

 

Importance of Self Esteem—1

                                    SELF ESTEEM

Self Esteem is the way we think and feel about ourselves.Self esteem shapes our lives and is important for everyone,both young and old.As parents it is important to help build up our child’s self esteem.Family and Home are two greatest influences to help children at all ages to build up a High Self Esteem.I read a beautiful poem….

I Am Glad to be Me

The author is unknown to me:

I look in the mirror

And what do I see?                              

I see the ME,

No one else can be.

I am Precious.

I am glad to be ME.

MY hair,my face.

My personality.

My size,my shape.                                                                                    

The colour of my skin.

All make up me

Outside and in.

I Am Glad to be me.

 

 

 

MY PEARLS OF WISDOM……

My Recipe for Self Esteem

 

1…I will always be …Proud to be me.

2…I Believe in myself.

3…I will love myself first.

4…I am important.

5…I am Happy with all of ME.

Kids lets have a little fun.You enjoy colouring and sticking right? (Art and Craft)

Here’s a chart which says “All About Me”

You can print it out. Then you can draw, colour, paint or stick ,following the instructions.

When you have finished stick it on your board.Remember  You are  the Best.Always be Proud of Yourself. Now this doesn’t mean you look down on others.Be happy for  what others can do.Everyone is good at something.

 

 

Being Responsible

RESPONSIBILITY

What is responsibility?

Responsibility means doing things that you are supposed to do and then accepting the positive or negative outcome of your actions.

As children, as you grow up… you are given  small tasks for which you are responsible for.. and you have to face the consequences for not doing those tasks .Here are some examples:-

..You may have to tidy up your room and if you forget everyday, maybe you won’t be allowed your daily screen time.

..You must complete your school homework and remember to pack your bag.If you forget  your teacher gets upset with you,or you may get poor grades.

..You have a pet whom you have to feed daily.What happens if you forget…your pet will fall sick .

We all need to act with responsibility, if we want to live in a safe and happy world.

Cleaning your room as you grow is your responsibility and a way to help mum at home.

Completing your school work,also means respecting your teacher.

Keeping your environment clean at home and at school.

Not only you, but also your mum and every adult too, has to be responsible to become better citizen and have a Happy Earth.

This last year 2020 has been a very difficult time for every one in the world because of the Corona Pandemic

We all have tried to do our bit to help everyone to be safe. However, it’s sad to say but some adults all over the world have  been irresponsible.

They have not followed the 3 simple rules, given to us by Doctors and Health Workers.

…Washing Hands.

…Social Distancing.

…Wearing a Mask.

A simple chart to follow..If you like,you can print it and stick it at the entrance of your home..Remember, this pandemic is here to stay for a long time.We need to take care and live safely and try to make the world a better place.

MY PEARLS OF WISDOM…

…Be responsible.

…Never feel embarrassed to stand for or do the right thing.(Wear a mask at all times when you are outside, even if someone laughs at you.)

…Respect your elders by being responsible, if asked to do something.(Do your school work if asked by your teacher.)

 

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