Behavioural Patterns—6 Fighting

                                         FIGHTING  or QUARRELING

Fighting is a conflict between people which can become physical and bitter .On the other hand , Quarreling is a disagreement in an opinion.

Children in  kindergarten are self-centered and normally like to take what they want and often get into a “fight’ for that .Learning to share and to get things in a polite manner comes in as they mature.

These “fights” last for a small duration and are forgotten once their minds are diverted . In a kindergarten there are many such learning experiences for a child .Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up ,it’s only when a fight gets violent or disruptive an adult interference is needed.

 

When do children fight….

…..A child is special at home and with their family and almost always gets what they want. They are not used to someone taking or asking for what they have. They don’t know how to share and wait for their turn. So if another child wants what they have  – a struggle or fight begins.

…..Sometimes children feel a little jealous if another child is praised or wins and they may react by pushing or making fun and so trigger a fight.

…..Some children just like to antagonize others all the time (this may be because they are too spoilt ,not disciplined or they have not been told its not a nice thing to do) this too could end up in a fight.

…..If children are not kept busy a fight can start.. as the saying goes….Empty vessels make the most noise….

These could be some situations when kids fight.

Fighting is part of growing up .Children learn how to look after themselves and also respect others .It’s only when a fight becomes very aggressive or when a child fights all the time  – then there  is a need for interference and concern.

 

 

 

 

What can adults do when two kids are fighting…..

 

Fighting is human behavior .Young kids are self centered and think only about themselves  often leading into fights.

If a fight triggers…

…Wait for a while be calm and patient then try to divert attention to another topic .

…When kids fight do not react immediately by trying to stop a fight , but watch and try to understand what triggered the fight.

…Do not take sides . Take the two kids gently to a side and let each one narrate why they are fighting , but don’t judge. Make sure each one has a fair chance to explain.

…Tell  them that you understand what has happened and ask them to help you solve the problem giving solutions…one example would be to share or take turns.

…Once they settle down praise them and maybe have a little talk about respect and empathy telling them it is natural to feel upset sometimes .

…Sometimes two kids just can’t get along so activities can be given to keep them apart yet together -giving them chances to respect and interact with each other.

… Tell them Fighting is not bad behavior and everyone fights sometime .What is important is to care and not hurt anyone. Try to respect others’ feelings and use the magic word …. SORRY….

 

Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up.

It needs special attention only if it becomes aggressive and hurts someone.

There is no magic wand or method to stop children fighting. Sometimes just a loud YELL may work.

The trick is to be patient ,calm , attentive , impartial and understanding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thought for the day

You don’t always need a logical reason for doing everything in your life.

Do it because you want to; because it’s fun ; and because it makes you happy.

                                                                          Unknown

 

 

ENJOY  LIFE……….

Behavioural patterns-5 Shyness

SHYNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting is raising a child with love and care at every stage. Parenting ensures a child’s health and safety … and guides a child to become a good human.

It’s not an easy task as each child is different and grows up in a different environment .Each stage in life has different challenges and the child has to be handled with care. There is no magic wand for parenting.

The parent should guide and discipline their children – yet treat and respect them as individuals .

SHYNESS

Shyness is an emotion of feeling uncomfortable , self conscious , timid or maybe insecure.  A shy person sometimes feels  shaky and breathless in an unknown gathering or any situation .They feel conscious to speak up or take part in a discussion – this does not mean they are introverts .

Why are some children shy and others not?

Children sometimes become shy as parents are over protective and do not allow the child to experience things for themselves .They become too dependent and start feeling insecure if left alone in any environment .

If parents are too dominating and give their child no scope to think for themselves , then too some kids can tend to become shy.

Sometimes it’s the child is just self conscious and a little inhibited to do things. But a Shy Child is a Normal Child there is nothing wrong with them .

Shy kids need a little extra care and acceptance so that they do not feel low and are able to manage on their own – slowly and steadily . They may not become leaders but will always be accepted in a group and will have friends. They will not grow up as loners.

 

 

 

How one can handle shyness…..

 

1.  Never label your child as being shy…this could make the child feel something is wrong with them.

 

 

 

2.Accept your child .Never make fun of him/her in front of others saying oh he/she is shy and won’t talk.

3. Try to understand . Be there with your child and make them feel secure and loved .Try to talk to them telling them its ok if they can’t mix easily or talk to others easily but also tell them if they don’t try how will they know whether they can do a task or not.

4. Remember never ever force your child to talk or recite a poem or sing in front of anyone if he/she is not ready .This would make the child anxious and add to his/her fear of a similar situation.

5. Give your child opportunities to talk , do things by him or herself .. try not to leave them alone , gently pushing them to do things by themselves and accepting them if they can’t .Never make a child feel they have disappointed you.

Shyness is not an illness. Remember everyone is different but everyone is good at something and that could be listening also. So be a proud parent if your child is quiet and is a listener.

So dear parents don’t get upset if your child cannot be a leader or take part in discussions. As parents we have to accept our kids as they are and help and guide them at all stages of their lives – to put in their very best.

Learn to be proud and happy with what your kids do.

Shy Kids are normal kids accept them as they are but guide and help them to get our shyness slowly and become independent individuals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thought for the Day………Learn to Appreciate.

”       When you see something beautiful in someone tell them.

It will take you a second to say , but could last a lifetime for them. ”

 

Never hesitate to appreciate someone if you like something about them.

Remember how happy or proud you feel if someone says something nice about you.

Its not always easy to say something good about anyone. Often your ego stops you and you don’t say what you would like to say.

Be generous with your appreciation .This will boost someone’s self esteem and make their day a happy one.

 

             

Don’t ever give up—Give It A Try

“It’s impossible”, said    Pride.

“It’s risky”, said  Experience.

‘It’s pointless”, said  Reason.

“Give it a Try’, said  the  Heart.

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Remember if you don’t try you will never know what you will have missed.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t achieve your goal. What is important is the journey and what you learn on the way.

 

 

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