FIGHTING or QUARRELING
Fighting is a conflict between people which can become physical and bitter .On the other hand , Quarreling is a disagreement in an opinion.
Children in kindergarten are self-centered and normally like to take what they want and often get into a “fight’ for that .Learning to share and to get things in a polite manner comes in as they mature.
These “fights” last for a small duration and are forgotten once their minds are diverted . In a kindergarten there are many such learning experiences for a child .Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up ,it’s only when a fight gets violent or disruptive an adult interference is needed.
When do children fight….
…..A child is special at home and with their family and almost always gets what they want. They are not used to someone taking or asking for what they have. They don’t know how to share and wait for their turn. So if another child wants what they have – a struggle or fight begins.
…..Sometimes children feel a little jealous if another child is praised or wins and they may react by pushing or making fun and so trigger a fight.
…..Some children just like to antagonize others all the time (this may be because they are too spoilt ,not disciplined or they have not been told its not a nice thing to do) this too could end up in a fight.
…..If children are not kept busy a fight can start.. as the saying goes….Empty vessels make the most noise….
These could be some situations when kids fight.
Fighting is part of growing up .Children learn how to look after themselves and also respect others .It’s only when a fight becomes very aggressive or when a child fights all the time – then there is a need for interference and concern.
What can adults do when two kids are fighting…..
Fighting is human behavior .Young kids are self centered and think only about themselves often leading into fights.
If a fight triggers…
…Wait for a while be calm and patient then try to divert attention to another topic .
…When kids fight do not react immediately by trying to stop a fight , but watch and try to understand what triggered the fight.
…Do not take sides . Take the two kids gently to a side and let each one narrate why they are fighting , but don’t judge. Make sure each one has a fair chance to explain.
…Tell them that you understand what has happened and ask them to help you solve the problem giving solutions…one example would be to share or take turns.
…Once they settle down praise them and maybe have a little talk about respect and empathy telling them it is natural to feel upset sometimes .
…Sometimes two kids just can’t get along so activities can be given to keep them apart yet together -giving them chances to respect and interact with each other.
… Tell them Fighting is not bad behavior and everyone fights sometime .What is important is to care and not hurt anyone. Try to respect others’ feelings and use the magic word …. SORRY….
Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up.
It needs special attention only if it becomes aggressive and hurts someone.
There is no magic wand or method to stop children fighting. Sometimes just a loud YELL may work.
The trick is to be patient ,calm , attentive , impartial and understanding