Impressionable Minds – a blog for children & parents

Emotions are symptoms every child has in the process of growing up. Emotions could be sad or happy , but whatever the feeling we should never ever try to suppress them but help to direct and channel them into constructive use.

As we grow up we learn how to manage our emotions either by sharing them or just by ourselves.

Kids in kindergarten are just coming out into the world. In their first five years they learn many things….. sharing , socializing , building up their self esteem and standing out as individuals. They go through various situations at home and outside and slowly learn to face them with our guidance.

They will have many emotional out bursts ..fighting , fears , crying and temper tantrums ..but we  should not allow these emotions to influence our response towards them.

Emotions are an important part of growing up and we should allow the children to express  their emotions .. rather than suppressing them..unless of course , they are in anyway physically hurting someone else or themselves.

 

CRYING

Why do children cry?

Crying is an emotion every one experiences .We cry for happiness or when we are sad or are hurt.

Crying is one of the first emotions a child expresses—–

Children cry when they may be hungry or thirsty and can’t express themselves.

..Children cry because they may be scared.

..They may cry because they are hurt.

..They may cry when they are scolded or not given what they want.

..They may cry to get attention or just because they are bored.

What do we do when a child cries?

We normally tend to tell the child not to cry ,or just say stop that crying . Sometimes we may express our displeasure for their crying  ,walk away or tell them we won’t talk to them if they cry.

Here are some tips to help you….remember a child like us has the right to express their emotions . So if say a child does cry let them do so for a while , take them aside and hug them if they allow.

After a while when they stop here are a few words one can try.

..Wipe your face , I am here with you , would you like to tell me what happened.

..You can say –

–I am listening to you.

–I understand you and this is hard on you.

–I am there for you and will help you .

–It’s ok to be sad and cry.. don’t feel ashamed about it.

–Try and comfort the child and slowly distract them . A little hug or smile helps.

Many a time the child will stop crying when they feel relaxed.

We can sometimes just avoid the crying ,  smile and carry on.

A little praise or some responsibility helps to forget the crying.

Like I always say ..

Parenting has no magic wand. Each one has to find a way to handle emotional outbursts..

A bit of love , a smile , a hug and distraction ,along with disciplining ( which children like )  will help you.

But don’t suppress emotions ..they are a part of growing up.

listen

Talk gently and be patient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Distract if crying is just for attention seeking.

 

Let children express emotions for a while , take them to a side and talk softly to comfort them.

Emotional outbursts are only the outward expression of inner feelings.

Handle them with patience , love and gentleness.

Remember don’t over indulge into or analyze every emotion.

Emotions are a healthy part of growing up.

 

                                         FIGHTING  or QUARRELING

Fighting is a conflict between people which can become physical and bitter .On the other hand , Quarreling is a disagreement in an opinion.

Children in  kindergarten are self-centered and normally like to take what they want and often get into a “fight’ for that .Learning to share and to get things in a polite manner comes in as they mature.

These “fights” last for a small duration and are forgotten once their minds are diverted . In a kindergarten there are many such learning experiences for a child .Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up ,it’s only when a fight gets violent or disruptive an adult interference is needed.

 

When do children fight….

…..A child is special at home and with their family and almost always gets what they want. They are not used to someone taking or asking for what they have. They don’t know how to share and wait for their turn. So if another child wants what they have  – a struggle or fight begins.

…..Sometimes children feel a little jealous if another child is praised or wins and they may react by pushing or making fun and so trigger a fight.

…..Some children just like to antagonize others all the time (this may be because they are too spoilt ,not disciplined or they have not been told its not a nice thing to do) this too could end up in a fight.

…..If children are not kept busy a fight can start.. as the saying goes….Empty vessels make the most noise….

These could be some situations when kids fight.

Fighting is part of growing up .Children learn how to look after themselves and also respect others .It’s only when a fight becomes very aggressive or when a child fights all the time  – then there  is a need for interference and concern.

 

 

 

 

What can adults do when two kids are fighting…..

 

Fighting is human behavior .Young kids are self centered and think only about themselves  often leading into fights.

If a fight triggers…

…Wait for a while be calm and patient then try to divert attention to another topic .

…When kids fight do not react immediately by trying to stop a fight , but watch and try to understand what triggered the fight.

…Do not take sides . Take the two kids gently to a side and let each one narrate why they are fighting , but don’t judge. Make sure each one has a fair chance to explain.

…Tell  them that you understand what has happened and ask them to help you solve the problem giving solutions…one example would be to share or take turns.

…Once they settle down praise them and maybe have a little talk about respect and empathy telling them it is natural to feel upset sometimes .

…Sometimes two kids just can’t get along so activities can be given to keep them apart yet together -giving them chances to respect and interact with each other.

… Tell them Fighting is not bad behavior and everyone fights sometime .What is important is to care and not hurt anyone. Try to respect others’ feelings and use the magic word …. SORRY….

 

Fighting and quarreling is a part of growing up.

It needs special attention only if it becomes aggressive and hurts someone.

There is no magic wand or method to stop children fighting. Sometimes just a loud YELL may work.

The trick is to be patient ,calm , attentive , impartial and understanding